i am so unrested, and i hate how spoiled i am. i realize this, but continue wanting and wanting and wanting. i don't like who i am, and who i have become. i am insecure and i am a coward. i'm afraid to experience things because i don't want to fail, and i don't want to regret trying whatever it is in the first place. i don't want to mess up. i don't want to look like a fool. i talk about doing things, about becoming accomplished and achieving my dreams...but it will never happen. they're just pretty things to think about every now and then when i am alone or down. it makes me happy at the moment to think of these possibilities and my potential as a human being, but i think it's just a temporary fix. i want so much but i'm waiting for it all to fall on my doorstep, just so happening to be in my path. i need to learn to initiate the happenings in my life.
i need to stop being lazy, and make a move.